Am I going to be stuck with lightening? I admit that’s a pretty sassy and irreverent way to talk to God. I don’t mean it that way (or do I?)

I really, honestly, truly DO mean, “What the heck are you doing, God?” As in, “What are you doing?”

The cool thing in the Faith Walk is that you can look back and see how God was in the details, even when we didn’t realize it. Like, I really thought our first child would be a girl. When “Sally” was a boy, I was shocked.

I read up on “How to Predict the Sex of Your Child” in order to insure we would have a girl next. Guess what? Twin boys. We had 3 boys in 19 months.

God in His wisdom, His graciousness, His “I see the Big Picture and You Don’t”, didn’t give us what we demanded from him. Then, awesome, we finished our family with two little girls.

I can see God in the details to give us our Full House. (Get it, 3 of one, 2 of another, that’s truly a Full House.) I would not trade or lose or sacrifice any of those precious children or their birth order, even if I could. But at the time, I have to say, I was getting a bit miffed that God “wasn’t listening” to us (and by that I mean He was God and wasn’t going to be swayed by my petulant whining and toddler-like demands.)

Now I’m in another “What the heck are you doing, God” moment in my life, and I am thankful that I can look back into the past and fill in some of the blanks.

What the heck were you doing, allowing us to move to West Virginia?
I wanted you to meet Debi and Mark and Angela, and I wanted you and Dave to start the jobs I had planned in advance for you to have.

What the heck were you doing, giving us free will and allowing us to build up debt?
I needed you to realize that true riches are love, faith, home and not a plump 401K or a home on a fancy street.

What the heck were you doing, allowing Dave to struggle with this job?
I wanted him to acknowledge me alone as provider, and I wanted you to perhaps hit rock bottom so you would know, that you know, that you know, that I am truly THE WAY, the TRUTH and the LIFE.


What the heck are you doing, is Dave getting promoted and we’re moving, or what?
That’s for Me to know and you to find out. (God has a sense of humor.) What does my Word say? I will never leave you or forsake you. I have a plan and a purpose for you. There are good works for you to do, works I planned in advance for you. I will provide all your needs, according to my riches in glory.

Oh, that’s what You’re doing.

Help me, Holy Father, to not be such a toddler. After 16 years of walking with you, I sometimes feel like I’m maturing but other times, like a total, spoiled baby. I can totally relate to the line in James, “You want what you can’t have, and you’ll kill to get it.”

I want to be debt-free (but I don’t want to get a full-time job nor suffer nor sacrifice too much, nor pull the kids from their awesome Christian school.)

I want a dramatic "fix", and "overnight solution"...but we love it here, this is our home, do we have to lose it in order to gain in the long run?

I want to hear from You. I am thankful that often I do, but not always…am I doing my part? Am I truly offering myself as a Living Sacrifice? I THINK I am. Please help guide and direct me, Father God.

I trust you.....
Thanks for giving me free will. Now I freely give it back to you. Show me.

Junk e-mail? E-Junk? What do we call it? I log onto my computer to 63 new messages! Well, it says 63, but 59 are “bulk” mail. Junk mail.

At least Yahoo is polite enough to gather the junk in a pile for me. I left AOL because they didn't. I'd spend 25 minutes hitting delete, delete, delete all the diet plans, free offers and various other smut. Yahoo is easy. I press delete once to evaporate all this morning's E-Crud.

4 pieces of real, er, cyber mail.

I log on. But wait, 2 of the remaining are actually junk that snuck through.

And the other 2 pieces are Forwards from a friend. I ask myself, "Is that really a friend?" You know, a friend who sends you a Chain Letter. ("If you don't forward this you are cursed".....thanks, buddy!)
No real mail this morning.

It struck me, this morning, that is how our minds are. Mine is, is yours? I get 63 pieces of mail every morning and most of it is junk.

The junk mail in my mind is varied and colorful. Past experiences and deep regrets. Lies the world tells me. Lies I believe about myself. More regrets. Busyness and loneliness. Attacks from self and attacks from the enemy (some call the enemy Satan but I call him Stan), and just plain…how can I put this….JUNK.

I have to sort through that mail every morning and there’s no clever Yahoo program to do that. I have had to learn to embrace the truth, which is like a shredder that cuts through all the Junk Mail Lies.

Here’s a good one to play as you wake.

“His mercies are new every morning.” That means we get a Do-Over, a Start Again, a It’s a Brand New Day After All. Every day. So don’t carry your yesterday’s junk into day’s new day. I love that one.

“Take every thought captive for Christ.” That’s a powerful junk shredder. I gather up all the junk, as much as I can gather, and hand it to Him. I say, “Lord, take this junk and destroy it, in Your name and by Your power.” He pulverizes most of it, instantenously, just because I asked and just because He can and because, of course, He loves me.

But, as in my cyber mailbox, there are a few pieces left. These are the pieces I am left to address, to handle, to consider for myself. Maybe they are forwards from a friend. In the Christian world we sometimes call them Prayer Requests.

One of my Forwards, in my mind today, is a prayer for a friend who is desperate for a baby. She’s newly pregnant, again, yet there have been losses. I pray for her.

Another Forward is for the mom of a friend. The mom has terminal cancer, but she's doing okay. She's secure in her eternal life. My friend struggles with a pervasive feeling that This-Life-is-All-There-Is. I keep that piece of mail. I’ve had it in my pocket for years now.

Maybe after we sort it all out, all the junk and requests and funny jokes, this is truly all that’s meant to remain. Prayer. Just plain old thoughtful, carry it with you, ponder it in your heart, lift it up to the Lord, prayer.

What mail did you get today? What junk are you carrying around? I encourage you in Jesus’ name to sort it out and give most of it to Him. Only carry what He asks you to keep.

Because here’s the truth. The mail comes again tomorrow.