On the Road with Moses

You might think, as I did, that it would be really boring to read the Book of Numbers. Just the title is discouraging to an English Major like myself. Numbers. Yuk, Numbers. And if you actually go so far as to open it up, yup!…there they are! A bunch of lists and numbers. But keep reading. Get past Chapter 2 and into the good stuff. There are some great lessons in there. Lessons about us.

I’ve been praying these last weeks that our merciful God will continue to bless us. I pray He’ll bless us even though we have a vain habit of constantly doing things our own way. Sinatra’s “I Did It My Way” rendition may resonate with a lot of us, but it’s a slur against the Lord. Doing it My Way means, in most cases, that we’re not Doing it His Way.

I've been reading Exodus, Numbers, Deuteronomy and it's positively embarrassing how the Israelites keep complaining and blaming God for all their stupid selfishness. What a pack of whiners. Here God has just delivered them from slavery in Egypt and all they can do is complain! Complain and disobey.

Moses shares a few rules, sure, and many of the people, including his brother, Aaron, still want to do their own thing. One big rule was to not worship any other God but the one true God. And definitely, for pity’s sake, don’t make a false idol of wood or gold or anything.

Moses heads up on the mountain for a mere forty days, a retreat with God, and the whole camp erupts into disbelief and idol worship. It doesn’t take long for them to forget everything they’ve already learned. Here they are snacking on manna, the very bread of heaven, and planning to disobey God at the same time. Oh brother! Aaron has been left in charge but the whiners harass him so much that he gives in and organizes them into making the Golden Calf. Moses is furious…yelling and throwing down the 10 commandment tablets. God is burning mad. You probably know this story. (Check out Exodus 20 if you don’t.)

What I didn’t know from Sunday school, however, was that this type of Disobedience, followed by Discipline, was a pattern that was repeated over and over again. (Kind of like in my house, with my five beautiful children.) Again and again they disobey and are punished. God gets so mad at them!

It's not a one time thing. No, God is forced to strike them down left, right and center...did you know that? In Numbers I read all about it. People were busy singing, “I did it my way” and God responded. Their way cost them their very lives. God sent a plague (twice), sent poisonous snakes to bite them, opened up the ground and swallowed families whole, cremated 1,000 people with lightening, etc, etc.

In other words, He was pissed!

The embarrassing part is I can see how I am like the Israelites. Exactly like them. I’ve experienced God's provision and His rescue. Yet here I am in the desert, still whining about what is going to happen next.

The Good News? I’m protected, covered really, by my belief in Jesus. He’s my mediator, which means that God will not open up the ground around my house and swallow me whole. Not that I don’t deserve it, but it won’t happen.

Lord, forgive me. Forgive me for my annoying doubts and fears. You have led me out of my own desert and always kept me safe. I know you have a plan and a hope and a future for me. I rest all of my anxieties at your feet. I don’t want to be like a whining Israelite. I want to be like Moses, hearing directly from you and being obedient to everything You say. I’ll need help with that.
Thank you that you are faithful even when I am not. I love you, Lord.



If we are unfaithful,
He remains faithful,
for He cannot deny himself.
2 Timothy 2:13 NLT



NLT

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Lost on the way to Bible Study

The Lord kept me out of Bible Study today. How do I know? I just could not get there. I really wanted to, but I couldn’t. See if you can relate.

I drove the boys to school at 7:30. I then went to Panera Bread and had a lovely time with the Lord, reading my Bible, writing down verses, and composing a prayer in my journal. I smiled at an acquaintance, but she didn’t come over. Until I was leaving….of course. I planned to leave at 9:30 to drive to Bible study, 10 minutes away. It started at 10, and 30 minutes would be ample for even me find it.

However, the acquaintance got interested in chatting as I put my coat on. ("Hello, I’m leaving!!!!!!!!") The Lord reminded me that the interruption is sometimes the point of the day, so I didn’t get aggravated. Well, not too aggravated.

I left at 9:40. This left 20 minutes for a 10-minute drive. After nearly 9 years in Roanoke, I decided to be brave and head directly to the address. (My normal way would be to go back to my house and start over from there…an insane and lengthy proposition.) I had the Mapquest directions in my car from the last time I went, but they started at my house. Surely I could adapt the directions as I headed there from town. There were, no kidding, two turns on the direction sheets. Main streets. Simple.

So why did I get lost? Could it be that God was keeping me from Bible study?

It would have been smart to call and ask my friend the name of the cross street in the warren of tiny streets in Raleigh Court. But my cell phone wouldn’t turn on. It was charged, but wouldn’t go green. I pushed every button. It’s a new phone. Apparently you need to be a 13 year old boy to know how to turn it on. Still, I tried. Boy, did I try.

I resolved to not get flustered. I prayed. I drove up and down streets. I stopped and asked for directions. I prayed. I looked at a map. I stopped at another gas station and got directions, again. I drove up and down streets. I gave myself five more minutes. I got teary-eyed. This entire time I was within ¼ of a mile of my destination.

Then it occurred to me that perhaps I wasn’t supposed to be there. Why? Because the God who parted the Red Sea and escorted the Israelites on dry ground would certainly escort me to a yellow house on a tree-lined street in Roanoke, Virginia…if He wanted me there.

I’d just been writing, praying, and meditating about leaving “margins” in my life to be able to study Scripture, to spend quiet time, to have time set apart. Yet I had scheduled every single minute of this day, before it even began. It occurs to me that when I feel overwhelmed, when I fantasize about a snow day or even a head cold in order to ignore the phone and the tasks, well, could that a message? Are those feelings from the Lord, knocking on the door of my heart, saying, “Rest in me.” Or as I would say, “Settle down, Sister!”

So, I am home, and cozy, and sitting quietly, awaiting further revelation. Maybe that was it. Is sitting quietly the order of the day? Could it be?

Perhaps I needed to be here to respond to the phone call from a friend, seeking college and career advice. Maybe it was for Dave, so that I’m home when he calls from his interview today. (Certainly he could not have reached me on my cell phone.)

Do you have days like that? Days where you feel blocked at every turn? Maybe like me you persist in your agenda, nearly to the brink of insanity. Does it sound familiar?

Help us, Lord, to be more still, so you can get our attention easier. We beg you to speak to us, and then we run as fast as we can in the opposite direction. Lord, we’re sorry for that. Again today, I surrender my busy-ness and my schedule. I lay it all at your feet. Establish the work of my hands for me. (Psalm 90). Yes, establish the work of my hands.

Show me the way to go. You know I’m not too good with maps. I’ll try not to get in Your way. I rest in you, Lord. Amen.

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My New Skin Doesn't Fit

Happy New Year.

I am so thrilled to have it be 2007, I can’t even tell you. I just think God is so cool to have thought of the idea of a whole new year. A Bible verse that I really love is “His mercies are new every morning*.” To me, this means that we get to push a “re-do” button every single day and start again, fresh.

If you’ve had a bad day, and I’ve had a few, this is very encouraging. No matter what I left undone from yesterday (dishes, laundry, people to call, notes to write), I have a fresh chance to do it today. The new mercies don’t only apply to my To Do list, of course. Every day I have a new opportunity to become more and more the person I am meant to be. I have a To Be list and a new chance at it with each morning’s light.

But a new year? A whole new year? That’s huge. I am filled with anticipation at the thought of what this year will hold.

Dave will get a new job this year. His old job ended as a Christmas gift, of sorts . This will be The Year of Dave’s New Job.

This will be the year Alex, 15, will get his first job, we hope. Maybe he’ll even get his driver’s license in 2007.

This will be a year when I will be a published writer. (March 2007, P31 magazine.) Maybe this will be a year that I publish a lot. Maybe I’ll find an agent. Maybe.

In this year, I will learn more about God and His nature. One of the ways He teaches us to trust Him is to stretch us beyond our own comfort. Think about it. If it were up to you alone, would you take risks? Would you make changes? Would you go new places or meet new people? God stretches us in order for us to grow. He also allows us to be stretched so we can trust Him more.

In 2006, I felt like the old Stretch Armstrong doll. You know the one? It had gooey arms and legs that could be stretched to four times their normal length. Once Stretch had been, well, mauled, many times, he would never quite conform back to his starting size. I can relate to this. I was stretched a lot last year. Now my skin doesn’t quite fit me like it used to. I need to grow some more, trust some more, love some more, and fit into my new skin.

God's going to have to help me with this. How about you? I pray we all enjoy God’s gracious gift of a new year. Only He knows what it holds. Oh, thank you, Lord! His mercies are new every morning!

*Lamentations 3:22-24

22 The unfailing love of the LORD never ends!
By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction.
23 Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day.
24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!"

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