Okay, women, this is just for you. Here's what I want for the holidays. Let's cut each other some slack. You heard me. Let's give each other a break.

The old comic strip Pogo featured a famous line, "We have met the enemy, and it is us." And that's how I feel about a group of women. We can be best of friends but we can also be worst of enemies. We may be hard on ourselves, but we are even harder on each other.

We're on this merry-go-round of service and volunteerism, and when we try to step off, other women won't let us. Many examples come to mind and I know you have some, too. Once I felt that the Lord directly instructed me about a children's ministry program. I was woken up from a dream with the words, "YOU ARE NOT ADMINISTRATIVELY GIFTED" ringing in my ears. When I approached the Children's Pastor to say the ministry wasn't for me, she didn't let me off the hook. She started begging. And crying. She literally would not take no for an answer.

This was many years ago, but I rememember saying, "I feel I'm supposed to be encouraging women in some way...maybe teaching women?" She snarled, "Oh, EVERYONE wants to teach adults." I felt guilty that day. I still feel badly recalling it.

Why do we do this? If our sister wants to go in a different direction, let's encourage her. Especially if she is praying and seeking God's will, let's throw her a party! Not stand behind the scenes saying, "She's got some nerve!" After all,
whose opinion matters most? Whose approval are we seeking? Paul says in Galatians 1:10: "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."

Are we trying to win the approval of other women, rather than God? We live in fear of each other's disapproval. I have a friend who won't check books out of the library because she is afraid the librarians will yell at her. She lost a book 7 years ago and hasn't been back since.

I have another friend who resigned from chairing a social club I was in. In their love for her, club members sent her begging emails and notes, asking her to reconsider. They just couldn't...or wouldn't...let her go. Is this a kindness? I wrote a note saying, "Good for you! We'll miss you, though. Come back if you're ever able."

In church I had a hard time keeping my 3 toddler boys quiet. An older woman turned around with a menancing expression and glared at me repeatedly. There wasn't a church nursery; there was no place to put them and still attend church. Finally at the end of her rope, she turned to me and said, "If you can't control those wild animals, get out and don't come back."
Or something like that. At least, that's what I heard. Women, we have the power to encourage or destroy each other with what we say. Let's build each other up!

Women, ask yourself today: "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?"
Take time in silence to really listen to the answer. Pray about it. Pray over every item in your schedule. Ask the Lord, "Am I doing this thing for You...or because I'm afraid?"

I've heard a great phrase that I try to keep in mind. "Audience of One." We are here for an Audience of One...Christ. He directs our path and establishes the work of our hands for us. Not the ladies in the neighborhood. Not the friends from the club. Not the PTA or the sorority or any-other-thing. Paul figured out that he couldn't have it both ways.

"If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."

Let's be servants of Christ...and not slaves to other women's opinions.