Currently appearing in the August edition of Bella magazine!

Have you ever been to a horse race? I’ve gone a few times and this phrase echoes in my memory bank. “And ….they’re off!” It’s the announcer’s traditional call when the horses leave the starting gate and begin their race. Here’s what it’s like to watch the race. You know that your favorite is out there, but you can’t see him very clearly. You can still cheer for and depending on how much money you sunk on a bet, you will yell and scream for him to win his race. When he comes back around to the finish line, you can get a better look again…as he glides on by. He has blinders on and will never even know you’re out there…cheering and praying for his successful run.

This describes my summer with my three teenage boys. And they’re off! Quite literally. Alex, almost eighteen, has been in Costa Rica since school let out. He is there with a local Roanoke ministry called Answering the Call. It’s an awesome discipleship training program…part adventure in the jungle, part study, part mission, part livin’ large away from home. He is loving it…or so I assume. You see, I’m cheering him on from a great distance. But I can’t see where he is on the track. Thankfully, the worldwide web extends to a tiny Internet Café in Costa Rica. He updates his Facebook status (in lieu of a note to his mommy) and this is how I know he is jumping off waterfalls and playing soccer with the ticos, or Costa Rican natives. In any case, he’s off.

Danny and Trevor are around this summer and with the absence of their big brother, I intended to hold them even closer than usual. The day Alex went to Costa Rica, the rest of the family headed to Williamsburg on our family vacation. We were down to four children, at least for that trip, and the extra space was put to good use. We stretched out, every family member listening to his or her own iPod. I imagined there would be plenty of time for family bonding when we got to Williamsburg. But the minute we arrived to our condo, the announcer shouted, “And…they’re off!” We scarcely saw the boys for the next seven days.

Thanks to the generosity of our benefactors, Santa Dan and Aunt Janet, we stayed at a lovely large condo in Williamsburg. Danny and Trevor had their own apartment which was joined to ours. This meant they had their own bedrooms, own fridge and own laundry. Best of all, they had their own media center. They made use of this every night when they sponsored their own movie nights with cute girls they had met at the pool. What a way to celebrate turning sixteen. To think there was a day when getting cupcakes was special. Sigh.

I sat on the other side of the unit, twiddling my thumbs and staring at the box of Yahtzee that I had packed in anticipation of hours of family fun. I missed having my boys around. I knew it was going to be a different version of a family vacation without Alex but I hadn’t anticipated the mass exodus of all the teens. The resort had a great workout room, several pools, game rooms and did I mention, cute girls? No mother in the world can compete with that. I tried to lure them back with great snacks and drinks but they would come to my side of the house, raid the food, then head back out again. I could hear the announcer’s voice yelling, “And…they’re off!”

I have always been a mom who has encouraged growth and independence. When my babies were little, I couldn’t wait until they could sit up. When they sat up, I encouraged them to crawl by holding the TV remote just out of reach. (This works like magic.) When they could crawl, I helped them stand and then walk. What I didn’t realize was that once they could run, they would. And they wouldn’t look back.

When they reached preschool, I rejoiced. I couldn’t wait for them to get to grade school. Once elementary school was under our belt, we’d race into middle school. But now, all of a sudden, I see where this independence is headed. They are headed right out the door and judging from the six lines of communication from Alex this summer, they will not look back. They’ll do what they’ve been encouraged to do…run their own race as swiftly and skillfully as they can. I’ll be relegated to the sidelines, cheering them on and hoping to catch a glimpse of them as they round the corner in the race of life.

Turns out, I wasn’t ready, after all. But it’s too late. They’re off.

I read that 90% of stress is from unfinished business. 90%! You likely already know or experience the physical problems that come from stress. Stress causes stomachache, backaches, headaches...every aches. It will literally eat you alive. Things left undone, things left unsaid...they can really harm you. So what can we do about it?

Take care of business. Yup, I said it. You see, we often spend the bulk of our time worrying and complaining instead of simply doing. Here's my brainstorm....Just get it done. Stop talking and start doing. All you'll feel is good!

What is the unfinished business in your life? For me, I hate paying bills. There's nothing about it that I enjoy. I put it off and put it off. The longer I put it off, the more it stresses me out. And there are consequences to my delays. Things like late fee and increased interest rates. Those things stress me out even more. I've struggled with my bills for years. For years I would go to bed thinking about paying bills and wake up thinking about paying bills. Something was not right!

Finally one day, I realized how foolish I was being. In just about one hour, I got all of my bills set up online and I set up automatic payments for these bills. It was very simple in the end. The dread was completely ridiculous. It was easy! Best of all, I was able to request emails to myself, telling myself that I paid my bills. These emails are so much fun to receive. A lot more fun than the bills! And the benefits.....no more late fees! Low interest rates! And no more stress! In other words...freedom!

Here's another great example. I know that having boxes and drawers of photographs really stress people out. I would love to see everyone in the world preserve their family photos in photo-safe albums. Yet just the thought of making albums adds stress to many people. I want to bring a word of freedom to alleviate this stress. My word is....shoebox. Dig the photos out, throw out the duplicates, trash the blurry and duddy ones (and the ones where you look bad!), and put the rest in order in your shoebox. You will be amazed at how much stress is lifted. You'll feel like you've lost twenty pounds!

Don't allow stress to keep you from getting your job done. You see, it's a vicious cycle. The more stressed you are, the less effectively you work. The less effectively you work, the more stressed you'll become. Break the cycle; today is the day! Make a list of your incomplete work, then resolve to complete it.

Just one final hint...you'll likely have to get off the computer and stop monkeying around on Facebook if you want to get some real work done. Just a hint....