We have always struggled with what the right thing to do for our children each Halloween. Our compromise, like the mother below, is only "happy" costumes and "cheerful" jack o' lanterns. We respect all different opinions, of course, but have felt vaguely guilty and "un-Christian" at times. I saw this article by John Rosemond today and loved his response. MSB

QUESTION: I do not like the implications of Halloween, but my husband does, so we allow the kids to dress up as fun/positive characters. Our son is now 7 and is asking to go to the local haunted house. My husband thinks this is OK, but I would like to keep the negative aspects of Halloween out of the picture as much as possible. What say you?

Answer:
Halloween may have its roots in ancient pagan rituals, but then so does the Christmas tree and the Maypole. Personally, and speaking as an evangelical Christian, I think the brouhaha over Halloween is much ado about nothing, as is the brouhaha over the Harry Potter books.
I do believe there’s evil afoot in the world, but the notion that Halloween somehow lures children to the Dark Side is more than a tad over the top. The tradition is just pure childish fun, much healthier for children, in my estimation, than the orgy of materialism they’re exposed to at Christmas, or even the 6 o’clock news for that matter.

My kids participated, to the fullest, in Halloween, as do my seven grandchildren, and none of them are more than normally evil.

As seen in the November 2009 issue of Bella Magazine.

I’m not trying to be cool. I just am cool. I am a cool mom of teens. I’ve read Twilight. I say, “My bad.” I’ve recently painted my nails such a deep purple that in some lights it looks black. I am a Facebook friend to scores of teens and I love it. But there is one thing that continues to confound me as I attempt to stay relevant to the ever-changing culture of teenagers. Texting.

It’s one of those things that I swore I would never do. (I also swore I would never email and don’t even get me started on Facebook!) I distinctly remember arguing with my husband that I didn’t need a cell phone. What was I thinking? Now I don’t think we need a home phone any more. The cell phone is such a part of our happy home that nearly every month I am calling to increase our minutes. We are up to 10 zillion minutes a month and still using them up. So what’s a mom to do? Text.

At first my dear children whined, pleaded and begged for the ability to text. Like any respectable English Major with a concentration in Shakespeare, I refused. “It will ruin your ability to communicate!” I asserted. “Language is a requirement for society and increases your intellect.” Or some other yahdah yahdah like that. (Sometimes even I tune myself out when I start lecturing…) Truth be told, I didn’t understand that texting requires great skill and intelligence. Consider this. Who could succinctly communicate a future plan to continue the conversation in just four letters: TTYL? (Talk to you later.) Who was the Einstein who expressed great mirth with the popular anagram: ROTFL? (Rolling on the floor laughing.) And who came up with my favorite -- so simple it’s astute-- the abbreviated way to say that the plan is fine with me in just one cute letter: K? (Uh, you can figure that one out on your own.) As I saw texting in action, I started to see its great value.

Texting can be done anyplace BUT driving. If you value your life, for pity’s sake, keep your eyes on the road and your paws off the keyboard. Don’t text and drive. Once the car is safely parked, however, texting is a quick and silent way to communicate. You can text anywhere! You can text in the hospital! (Hi Claire and Ed!) You can text in the movies, although it is discouraged. (I recommend keeping your phone in your purse when you do it.) You can text in the bathroom and I suspect that you can text in class. Again, don’t do it! Yet it’s nice to know that if there was a National Emergency and you needed to locate your parents to tell them one last time that you love them, you could.

With young drivers on the road, I like to know that they’ve arrived at their destination in one piece. This is communicated to me daily through texts. I receive a text that says, “At school” or “At work.” I text back, “K.” Badda bing, badda boom, we’ve communicated, 21st century style. It’s sleek. Any fool can do it. Even a mom.

Now, as you suspect, there are some drawbacks to texting. It is oddly addictive. I know a thirteen-year-old who was texting her friends while her family gathered around to sing Happy Birthday to her. We can all agree that is unnecessary. Hey Birthday Girl! Next year, wait the thirty seconds until the song is over, would you, please? Texting, because it’s so abbreviated, does not say all that you want to say. It’s a billboard, not a poem. Yet teens are deluded into thinking “All we need is text.” Or was that love? Today young couples actually date solely through texting. Call me old-fashioned but we used to at least get a movie out of the deal. Relationships are started, carried out and ended all on texts without a single word spoken. Keep this up and we’ll lose the ability to speak.

As a parent of a teen, I don’t allow my kids to send pictures from their phones. This is good common sense but if you can’t imagine why, text me and I’ll explain it. This column is strictly rated PG. At home, we’ve had some issues with Runaway Texting while kids are supposed to be pursuing more wholesome activities such as sleeping. Since my name is on the cell phone contract, I reserve the right to read any outgoing or incoming texts at any time. (People who text the Byrds, beware! Mama Byrd is reading for comprehension and she knows almost all of the abbreviations!)

If you have teens and want to keep in touch with them, may I recommend texting? I hear that when they leave for college, it is the only way they communicate. I have until next fall when my first Byrd leaves the next. That’s good because it will take me until then to learn to use the Barbie sized keyboard with my middle-aged myopia. That’s all I have to say on this topic. Txt if u wnt 2 tlk.

Getting ready to step on some toes this morning. My own, for instance.

I was thinking morbid thoughts the other day. Like, if someone close to me died, who would I call? Sadly, these are the thoughts I have on rainy days. Also sadly, most of the people I thought of were long distance calls. That made me stop and think...a lot.

I had the great priviledge of sharing with three lovely groups last week. They were all groups organized around a common theme: MOPS, or Mothers of Preschoolers. This is a fantastic organization that helps to create community among young mothers who are often feeling overwhelmed, undershowered and alone. I was so thrilled to have the change to encourage the moms. One of the most important things I wanted to share was the need for community.

I need it, too. You know what keeps me from it? Carpooling.

Yes, that's right, I said it. Carpooling. Driving to sports. Running up and down the road with someone's forgotten soccer cleats or science report. How can I create time to bond with my local friends? I'm a moving target.

In my Driver Improvement Class this weekend (another story), I learned that likely the ability to talk on the cell phone while driving will be rescinded over the next few years. This made me feel lonely in advance. I like to talk on the cell phone while I'm driving. It's a quiet time to catch up. But guys, get this. It's not real community. It's simply a shadow of real community. You may believe that sometimes a shadow is all your life allows for. But that would be false.

We were created for community. Don't settle for a lonely life. Nuture a friendship, starting today. To have a friend, we need to be a friend. We need to have people over to sit at our kitchen table and talk. We need to bring a friend along when we go shopping for those new pants. We need to welcome a friend who drops by.

Starting today, work on your friendships...and not just your cell phone-ships. Plan a face-to-face interaction. You'll be amazed at how it fills you up.

Brooke Mckinsey Smith

Brooke captured the true essence of beauty both inside and out. Man looks upon the outside, and God looks upon the heart. I believe they both smiled when they looked at her. She seemed to be born with a smile on her face and was full of life her whole life through, even through her bout (roller derby) with cancer. She loved her family so much and they were very, very important to her. Her sister Ashley, age 23, who was only 14 months older than her, shared everything with her, from food and bedrooms, to clothes and colds. She loved to mother her younger brother Mitchell, age 18, and yet was his close buddy. She made her Mom, Rebecca Wimmer Smith, and her Dad, the late Barry L. Smith, laugh with glee and, at times, lose their hair. Her friend, and Mom #2, Cynthia Oliver and her family had a special place in her heart. Her grandparents, Rose Smith, Shirley Lineberry, Eugene (PaGene) Lineberry, and the late Dennis Earl Wimmer and Clarence L. Smith, were all fun for her to hug and kiss. Numerous close aunts, uncles, and cousins made life beautiful, and her God-ordained family made life complete.

She was a social creature and LOVED people. She had so many amazing friends that I hesitate to try and mention you all. Just know that she loved you So Much. God was truly the author and the finisher in Brooke's life. Her relationship with Him was her core, and she returned to Him with an amazing passion. She loved sports, her latest being Roller Derby, which brought her great excitement. Her creativity and love for people shined in her hairdressing skills at St Pierre Salon. Brooke, it's impossible to say goodbye because you will live on eternally through the impact that you made and will continue to make in our lives. We LOVE you Forever and Ever and Ever. Dance With Jesus until we see you again!

Contributions can be made to the Brooke Smith Memorial Fund at any BB&T Bank, account #1430000375266.