Not My Will But Yours Be Done
Luke 22:41-43
He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.
In the garden of Gethsemane, before Christ was taken away to be tortured and crucified, He prayed this prayer (in Martie paraphrase.) "If it's possible, Dad, to rewrite the script now, I'd really appreciate it. Now that the time is here, I'm afraid. It's going to really hurt. Yet, not my will, but yours be done. I'm not sure I'd make the right decision at the moment, so I'm leaving it up to You."
This prayer is very comforting to me. I am comforted by the fact that Jesus had doubts and fears. Even though He knew what was coming, His human body and mind revolted at the very idea. His very heart was melting, as it says in Psalm 22, the psalm He quotes from the cross.
My favorite part, though, is the clincher. "Not my will but Yours be done." He states what He'd like to see ("take this cup from me"), but rests the final decision in the capable hands of God the Father.
Do we pray this way? I've been trying to, but here's what I notice. Simultaneously while praying, "Not my will," I have an underscore thought of what my will is! For instance, our littlest girl Julia was in the hospital this week. I prayed over and over, "Not my will but Yours be done," yet it was not a true prayer of relinquishment. (I prayed it but didn't mean it). The unspoken but fervent subtext was "please not a chronic illness, Lord, please make this an isolated thing, please just restore her to how she was before this all started."
I need a Magna Doodle for my brain. It's a magnetic sketch pad that can be wiped clean--truly a clean slate. See, even when I pray, "not my will but yours", it's impossible for me (so far) to NOT have those thoughts of "Psst! God! Here's what I want!" lurking beneath the surface. I'd like to wipe those thoughts out, Magna Doodle style, and pray without motives.
James says we pray with the wrong motives, to get just what we want. I admit, I'm consistently guilty of that. But Lord, I really DO want what YOU have determined BEST. And I don't want to live in martyred resignation but instead powerful relinquishment.
I can't see the future. (You can.)
I can't see how everything fits together. (You do.)
I can't see beyond my current situation. (You see.)
Therefore, it's an act of my will to choose to rest in you...and leave the Rest to You. Just like Jesus did in the Garden.
Help us, Lord.
2 comments:
I can totally relate to "Not My Will But Yours Be Done". I just had laparoscopic gallbladder surgery yesterday (please excuse misspelled words and incomplete sentenses due to pain medication) and I had to totally submit my body to God's will. My mind and body still betrayed my willing spirit to trust God's will...it was a constant tug of war all the way to OR. My body was in a state of anxiety, my bp was was 174/98 and face was red and I was trying really hard to keep my focus on God. It was hard but He got me through it. Nana-To-Be
prayer.... hmmmmm..... what a mysterious thing. It was the thing in my spiritual life that was hardest hit after the death of my son. I had prayed at 6 a.m. that he brought home safely.... at 6:08 he was safely in the Lord's arms... not mine. I was reading lately Philip Yancey's book:"Prayer, does it make any difference?" I was encouraged by one story of a mother named Monica:
"for 15 years Monica prayed for her son Augustine. When he finally converted, these were the very experiences that gave depth & richness to his writings, allowing him to set the course of Christian thought for centuries. Once, Monica prayed all night that God would stop her son from going to wicked Rome, but he tricked her and sailed away. It was on that trip that Augustine became a Christian. Reflecting later he said that God denied his mother once in order to grant her what she had prayed for always." So I am confident that in denying me my prayer that morning in May,my son was ushered into his eternal home forever. Praise be to our Lord! As Kierrkgaard wrote, "The true relation in prayer is not when God hears what is prayed for, but when the person praying continues to pray until he is the one who hears, who hears what God wills." It is a mysterious thing to "partner" with God, in a sense, to bring heaven to earth through this powerful thing called prayer. It is not "overcoming God's reluctance, it is laying hold of his highest willingness."
Post a Comment