I just love it when I ask how someone is and they say, "Can't complain." My response is always, "Well, you can complain but no one will listen." Ain't that the truth? And why doesn't anyone listen any more?

Etiquette fairly demands that when someone asks "How are you?" we respond with some quick version of "I am fine." It's a little social dance that we do. It doesn't matter if we've just busted up the car, overdrawn our checking account, found a suspicious lump or fought with our spouse. We answer, insincerely, "I am fine." 98% of the time we are not fine, yet we say we are. What this really means is, "You don't really care to know...do you?" That's why I enjoy hearing the much more clever, "Can't complain." I like it because what it really means is, "I could complain, but we both know you don't want to hear it, so I won't even try."

The thing is, I want to hear it. I want to be the friend who listens. I want to listen when someone wants to whine as well as when they want to celebrate. Isn't that what being a good listener actually is?

I ran across a funny line in a book just now. The main character in the delightful book The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society is surviving during World War II. She laments that due to bombings, she's lost a great apartment with views of the Thames (like the ones pictured in this post!) She says, "I know that I am fortunate to have any place at all to live in London, but I much prefer whining to counting my blessings."

How about you? Do you much prefer complaining to counting your blessings? If so, why? If someone asks how you are doing, do you treat them to a peek into your world? Do you complain? Explain? Lament? Or answer with a terse, "I'm fine," assuming that no one really cares?

I'm interested. Let's talk. Starting today, let's be the one who listens. The one who cares. The one who asks even one more question beyond, "How are you?" Let's not take, "I am fine" or "Can't complain!" for an answer. We could literally revolutionize the world...with love.